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Male WalkingWounded
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Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch.

His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?"

Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
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I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.

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Monty 14 KTM250SX's 2017 KTM350SX-F #045 - A Lot Of Pit Bikes, And Added Another One
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Male WalkingWounded
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 19-year-old girl."

Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70-year-old woman. It se...ems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 19-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV
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I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.

http://houstonmotocross.com/theforum/viewthread?thread=33552&offset=0

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Monty 14 KTM250SX's 2017 KTM350SX-F #045 - A Lot Of Pit Bikes, And Added Another One
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Male WalkingWounded
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding, and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.

http://houstonmotocross.com/theforum/viewthread?thread=33552&offset=0

http://houstonmotocross.com/theforum/viewthread?thread=44047

Monty 14 KTM250SX's 2017 KTM350SX-F #045 - A Lot Of Pit Bikes, And Added Another One
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Male oldguysrule
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

A cop pulls over a woman for doing 65mph in a 30mph zone. He walks up and barks "Where's the fire?" Calmy the woman says "I'm sitting on it, you got enough hose to put it out?"

That was actaully a true story. When I was in the police academy one of our instructors told that story. His point was "You never know who you are encountering over so hold your tongue until you know."
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by oldguysrule]
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Female jcanthis
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

Got this one from Kaitlyn...

I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said "Hi!, how are you?" Embarrassed, I said, "I'm doing fine". The voice said "So what are you up to?". I said, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here!". From next door, "Can I come over?". Annoyed, I said "rather busy right now". The voice said, "Listen, I will have to call you back, there's an idiot next door answering all my questions"

ha ha ha still makes me laugh..
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Jackie Anthis
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Male WalkingWounded
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her, "kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over, lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies buddy says "ya know, I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it".
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I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.

http://houstonmotocross.com/theforum/viewthread?thread=33552&offset=0

http://houstonmotocross.com/theforum/viewthread?thread=44047

Monty 14 KTM250SX's 2017 KTM350SX-F #045 - A Lot Of Pit Bikes, And Added Another One
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Male oilfieldtrash
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

A man comes home from work and his wife is packing a suitcase."Where are you going?" "Las Vegas" she says" I found out I can get $400 a pop for what I'm giving you for free here" The husband starts packing his bag and the wife says "What are you doing?" "I'm going to Vegas with you" "What for?" the wife says. The husband say's "I want to see you live on $800.00 a year!"laughing laughing
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Male Beveridge
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

One day there was a guy sitting in his living room, then he heard a knock at the door.
There was a spanish man standing there and asked him " Hey meeester I'm looking or work can you help me?"
The homeowner told him go around to the garage I'll meet you back there.
In the garage the home owner told him" if you paint the porch in the front of the house I'll pay you $300.00." He handed him a bucket of paint and a brush.
About 3 hours later the home owner heard a knock and answered the door" Hey Meeester I painted the porch but, I don't think that's a porch it looks like a mercedes.
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Proud Dad of the #788 David Beveridge Jr.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"
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[Edit 1 times, last edit by Beveridge]
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Male tpowell82
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

OH ... I finally got it. A Porsche. Porch. Duh.

These are great. I especially like the Hind Lick maneuver, and the 800 bucks a year... laughing laughing laughing
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Male OldSchoolFool
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Re: Laughter Is The Best Medicine Reply to this Post

It's Funny the way My Grandaughter (3 yr old)
Waslockin at Me like I was crazy Cause the way I laughed at some of theselove struck
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